{"id":1494,"date":"2022-03-21T08:51:22","date_gmt":"2022-03-21T12:51:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/js1cd06kre.onrocket.site\/?p=1494"},"modified":"2022-03-21T08:51:57","modified_gmt":"2022-03-21T12:51:57","slug":"the-words-we-speak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/2022\/03\/21\/the-words-we-speak\/","title":{"rendered":"The Words We Speak"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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It happened more than 30 years ago.  But I can remember it as if it happened yesterday.
 
In a quest to be oh-so-funny, I made a comment I still wish I could take back.
 
The Sunday service at the church I was serving had just begun.  I was the preacher that morning.  Dan, my good friend and pastoral colleague, provided the call to worship \u2013 opening remarks that set the tone for the hour to come. 
 
Dan described a recurring experience that is known to most church leaders \u2013 that awful moment where you awaken suddenly, perhaps from a bad dream, stricken with panic that you have forgotten something important.  He said that a few days earlier he had sprung from bed, gripped by fear: \u201cOh my gosh, I\u2019m supposed to preach today!\u201d \u2013 only to realize that it wasn\u2019t even Sunday.  He went on to describe how God powerfully addresses our primal fears \u2013 even the terror of pastoral unpreparedness.  
 
About 20 minutes later it was time for the sermon. 
 
I stepped into the pulpit and said, \u201cYou know, I have firsthand experience of what Dan was talking about earlier in the service.  In fact, this very morning I suddenly awoke, overwhelmed by fear: \u2018Oh my gosh, Dan <\/em>is preaching today!\u2019\u201d 
 
The congregation laughed.  At least, most people did.
 
For a number of listeners, however, it was an awkward moment.  They knew Dan and I were friends.  Why was I willing to descend into negative humor just get a cheap laugh \u2013 in the middle of a worship service, no less?  Did this mean our friendship was fraying at the edges? 
 
After the service, I told Dan I was truly sorry.  Without thinking, I had once again surrendered to the middle school mentality of trying to be funny, even at someone else\u2019s expense.
 
He graciously accepted my apology.  But then he said something I have never forgotten.  \u201cYou know, Glenn, it\u2019s true that you can make people laugh.  But sometimes you leave people bleeding.\u201d
 
Sometimes you leave people bleeding.<\/em>
 
That\u2019s the nature of put-down humor.  It\u2019s epidemic in our culture, and the entertainment industry leads the way.  Just listen to stand-up comedians.  Or a trailer for virtually any TV sitcom.  Cleverness, coolness, and hipness are associated with how many \u201cgotcha\u201d moments you can rack up at the expense of someone else\u2019s ethnicity, body shape, competence, or intelligence. 
 
Ironically, negative humor is a double-edged sword.  It certainly has the capacity to dent the target\u2019s self-confidence.  Most preachers, for instance, are more than a little sensitive about whether they\u2019re effective in the pulpit.
 
But negative humor probably says more about the one who feels compelled to use it.  It tends to reveal a Grand Canyon of personal insecurity. 
 
I love humor.  And levity can be a wonderful way to lighten difficult moments.  But comments at someone else\u2019s expense are the proverbial \u201cbridge too far.\u201d  When I reflect upon such moments in my own life, I realize that I have sometimes risked the priceless treasure of a cherished friendship for the momentary thrill of hoping someone in the crowd will think I\u2019m clever. 
 
The Bible has a great deal to say about the words we speak.  Ephesians 4:29 couldn\u2019t be clearer: \u201cDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.\u201d    <\/em>
 
In their book Relationships<\/em>, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott point out that friendships are surprisingly fragile. 
 
We may assume, \u201cOh, she\u2019ll understand,\u201d or \u201cHe knows I\u2019m just kidding.\u201d  But small betrayals (or perceived betrayals) can erode the joy of an otherwise healthy friendship.  
 
Put-down humor is a tempting move when you\u2019re feeling insecure or don\u2019t know what else to say.
 
But it\u2019s a card we need to learn not <\/em>to play.
 
Instead of leaving others bleeding, let\u2019s go out of our way to leave them encouraged.  Inspired.  And assured of our love. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It happened more than 30 years ago.  But I can remember it as if it happened yesterday. In a quest to be oh-so-funny, I made a comment I still wish I could take back. The Sunday service at the church I was serving had just begun.  I was the preacher that morning.  Dan, my good friend and pastoral colleague, provided the call… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1495,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[415,280],"class_list":["post-1494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humor","tag-speech"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1494"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1497,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494\/revisions\/1497"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}