{"id":2666,"date":"2023-06-01T09:34:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-01T13:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/js1cd06kre.onrocket.site\/?p=2666"},"modified":"2023-06-01T09:34:54","modified_gmt":"2023-06-01T13:34:54","slug":"the-code-duello","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/2023\/06\/01\/the-code-duello\/","title":{"rendered":"The Code Duello"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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To listen to this reflection as a podcast, <\/em>click here<\/a>.
 
In the movies, when one gentleman offends or insults another, they immediately \u201cthrow down.\u201d
 
I challenge you to a duel!<\/em>  And just like that, out come the swords or pistols or some other means of settling things, usually with fatal consequences.
 
But that\u2019s not how dueling happened in real life.  According to historian Scott Mitchell, \u201cA duel was the final part in what was an elaborate and ritualized negotiation between gentleman called an \u2018affair of honor.\u2019\u201d 
 
Over the centuries, a set of rules had been developed to prevent<\/em> the firing of guns or the slashing of swords.  These regulations were intended to slow things down, to let the parties cool off, to give them time to resolve their differences \u2013 all in the hope that everyone might somehow emerge from the conflict with their honor intact. 
 
The rules came to be called the Code Duello.  It was frequently able to prevent disaster.
 
In 1791, for instance, the Secretary of the Treasury in George Washington\u2019s cabinet was accused of a crime.  James Monroe, a future two-term president, accused the secretary of enriching himself with government funds.
 
The treasury secretary declared his innocence.  He then shared a secret with Monroe.  The perception of financial irregularities was due to a personal matter.  He was in fact guilty of an affair with a woman named Maria Reynolds, who with her husband had been blackmailing the secretary for more than a year.  He proved it by showing Monroe a stack of letters. 
 
Monroe vowed that he would never let those letters see the light of day.  The secretary was relieved.  He would not be publicly humiliated.
 
Unfortunately, Monroe hedged on his promise.  He revealed the letters to one other person \u2013 to Thomas Jefferson, who would also turn out to be a two-term president \u2013 and who five years later recognized that the Reynolds Affair would be the perfect way to destroy the life and career of the treasury secretary.  After Jefferson leaked the letters, the secretary savagely turned on Monroe.  You betrayed me.  I demand satisfaction<\/em>. 
 
Monroe was defiant.  I did nothing of the kind.  I demand your apology, sir.<\/em> 
 
The rancor escalated.  The pair exchanged angry letters and called each other vile names.  The dispute seemed headed for violence. 
 
That\u2019s when the Code Duello provided an escape.  According to the traditional rules, each party should be represented by a friend, who is called the \u201csecond.\u201d  One of the roles of the second is to help tone down the rhetoric.  In this case, Monroe\u2019s second urged him to tear up his angriest letters and adopt a more conciliatory tone.  He also calmed down the secretary.  In the end, the two men were able to find the grace to apologize and move forward.
 
That\u2019s how things were supposed to work. 
 
If peaceful negotiations had failed, and the two parties had resolved to fire at each other, Code Duello specified that guns with rifled barrels could not be used.  Mitchell points out that dueling pistols had smooth bore barrels, which were highly inaccurate at the distance of 30 feet.  The bullets rattled around in the chamber so much that there was actually little chance of predicting where they might end up.
 
That\u2019s because the goal, in the end, wasn\u2019t really to kill the other party.  It was to save face by showing that you were willing to risk your own life for your beliefs.
 
Says Mitchell, \u201cIt was enough that both parties showed up, ready to die.\u201d  Despite Hollywood\u2019s dramatic depictions, that rarely happened.  Combatants frequently missed their targets on purpose.  Only about one in five duels proved fatal. 
 
In the case of Monroe and the Secretary of the Treasury, neither had to draw a pistol.  And who was Monroe\u2019s skillful second, the one who acted as the voice of reason?  It was Aaron Burr.  And who was that particular secretary?  It was Alexander Hamilton, whom Burr \u2013 in the irony of all ironies \u2013 would ultimately kill in the most famous duel in American history in 1804. 
 
Burr is often remembered as the bad guy.  But by all accounts, he was a peaceful and charming human being.  Hamilton, on the other hand \u2013 who was absolutely brilliant and arguably one of the most competent of all the Founders \u2013 might best be described as a petulant, hotheaded, unforgiving jerk.  Perhaps he was irritated because he suspected that the musical that would one day be written about his life would mostly be hip-hop.   
 
Hamilton found it hard to get along with others.  He was offended by even the slightest criticisms, and was challenged to 11 duels over the course of his life.  
 
He enjoyed lobbing public insults, and mocked Burr openly for something like 15 years.  The latter finally said, \u201cYou\u2019d better take that back.\u201d  Hamilton wouldn\u2019t budge, and the two ended up facing each other on New Jersey\u2019s Weehawken Island early on a July morning. 
 
Is there something like the Code Duello in the New Testament?
 
The answer is No.  The reason is that Jesus subverted the entire premise on which the Code is based.
 
Someone hurt me.  My honor and reputation are at stake.  I demand satisfaction \u2013 either a full apology, proving that I\u2019m in the right, or a chance to reclaim my honor<\/em>.   
 
But Jesus said, in so many words, that honor is for the birds.  All it does is drag us down into the quicksand of pride.  Has somebody hurt you?  Jesus says that it\u2019s your responsibility to go that person and try everything you can to make things right (Matthew 18:15-17).  Have you hurt somebody else?  Jesus says that it\u2019s your responsibility to go to that person and try everything you can to make things right (Matthew 5:25-26).
 
No matter what the circumstance, you go first<\/em>.  Whether you feel the hurt or have caused the hurt, you take the lead<\/em>.  When it comes to conflict, Jesus says that you are always in the driver\u2019s seat.  He will provide the grace and power you will need to become a non-anxious, healing presence.  No other prominent teacher has ever said such a thing.
 
Most of us, of course, aren\u2019t very good at being a non-anxious, healing presence, especially when we feel humiliated or disrespected.  But practice will help us grow.  
 
And most of us will have the chance, sooner or later, to serve as somebody else\u2019s \u201csecond\u201d \u2013 to come alongside a friend or family member or co-worker and say, \u201cI know you feel hurt and angry right now, but let\u2019s try to figure out how to get on the solution side of this conflict.\u201d
 
This is where being a disciple is not for cowards.  You may find yourself simmering, \u201cBut I know I\u2019m in the right.  I deserve an apology.  Why shouldn\u2019t I wait for one?\u201d
 
The answer is that you might be waiting for a very long time. 
 
In this broken world, you can hold out for being right or you can choose to be loving.  Choose to be loving<\/em>.  You can insist on reclaiming your honor, right here and right now, or you can humbly trust that God will make things right in the end.  Choose to be humble<\/em>. 
 
And every time you look down at Alexander Hamilton\u2019s face on the 10-dollar bill, just remember:
 
You don\u2019t have to fight somebody to be a winner in God\u2019s eyes. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To listen to this reflection as a podcast, click here. In the movies, when one gentleman offends or insults another, they immediately \u201cthrow down.\u201d I challenge you to a duel!  And just like that, out come the swords or pistols or some other means of settling things, usually with fatal consequences. But that\u2019s not how dueling happened in real life.  According to historian Scott… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2667,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[192,406],"class_list":["post-2666","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-reconciliation","tag-revenge"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2666","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2666"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2666\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2669,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2666\/revisions\/2669"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2667"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2666"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2666"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2666"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}