{"id":4223,"date":"2024-11-27T06:48:05","date_gmt":"2024-11-27T11:48:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/js1cd06kre.onrocket.site\/?p=4223"},"modified":"2024-11-27T06:48:18","modified_gmt":"2024-11-27T11:48:18","slug":"the-other-f-word","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/2024\/11\/27\/the-other-f-word\/","title":{"rendered":"The Other F Word"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

To listen to today’s reflection as a podcast,\u00a0<\/em>click here<\/a>

It\u2019s time to take on what some counselors and psychologists call the Other F Word.\u00a0

Fine.\u00a0<\/em>

As in, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m fine, thank you.\u201d\u00a0

End of conversation.\u00a0End of communication.\u00a0Except, \u201cfine\u201d hardly qualifies as an authentic meeting of minds and hearts.

\u201cFine\u201d can be a one-word stand-in for a remarkable number of messages:

I don\u2019t really have time to do more than say hello to you right now.<\/em>
I don\u2019t actually think you\u2019re interested in the details of my life, so I\u2019ll play along and not reveal anything.<\/em>
I don\u2019t believe my life is interesting or important enough to give you more than a superficial response.<\/em>
I don\u2019t want to risk our relationship by telling you how I really feel.<\/em>

Amazingly, the one thing that \u201cfine\u201d almost never means is \u201cfine.\u201d\u00a0

Fine<\/em> is a conversational cover-up, a socially acceptable lie, concerning things I have no intention of revealing in the context of a brief greeting.\u00a0

How am I?\u00a0I\u2019m just F-I-N-E<\/strong>, thank you:\u00a0F<\/strong>reaked Out, I<\/strong>nsecure, N<\/strong>eurotic, and E<\/strong>motional.\u00a0

That\u2019s what I might say if I were doing a deep dive to the bottom of my soul.

Most of us, at any given moment, are dealing with a number of less-than-fine realities in our lives.\u00a0But that doesn\u2019t mean they need to become public property.

It\u2019s not necessary \u2013 in fact, it would hardly be possible \u2013 to pause every time someone asks pleasantly, \u201cAnd how are you this morning?\u201d to bravely reveal all our darkest thoughts.\u00a0If your goal is always to ride all by yourself in elevators, however, this might be a useful first step to take.

What\u2019s a healthy way forward?

Start small.\u00a0Open your heart to someone you already know.\u00a0Instead of saying, \u201cfine,\u201d risk saying something like, \u201cYou know, the last few days have been pretty rough, and I\u2019ve been struggling.\u201d

That may or may not prompt a deeper conversation. \u00a0

But at the very least you\u2019ll have revealed yourself to be a perfectly normal imperfect human being.\u00a0And that\u2019s always a good thing.

Or try changing the question.\u00a0Instead of defaulting to \u201cHow\u2019s it going?\u201d when greeting someone, pause and ask something like, \u201cAnything new or different happening in your world today?\u201d

Not only is it impossible to answer such a question by saying \u201cfine,\u201d you\u2019ve at least provided an opportunity for someone to reassess the meaning of their next few hours.

Some of my friends, when asked \u201cHow are you today?\u201d invariably provide a different one-word answer:\u00a0\u201cBlessed.\u201d

To be blessed is a wonderful thing.\u00a0

As the apostle Paul makes clear in that monumental, run-on sentence that\u2019s come to be known as Ephesians 1:3-14, being blessed means to be loved, called, chosen, forgiven, and redeemed by God.

Best of all, even on those days when we really are freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional \u2013 and that might very well be the case at tomorrow\u2019s Thanksgiving gathering \u2013 we can say, with complete honesty, that we know we are still blessed \u2013 because God will never change his mind about us.

And you have to admit:

That\u2019s mighty fine<\/em>.
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To listen to today’s reflection as a podcast,\u00a0click here It\u2019s time to take on what some counselors and psychologists call the Other F Word.\u00a0 Fine.\u00a0 As in, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m fine, thank you.\u201d\u00a0 End of conversation.\u00a0End of communication.\u00a0Except, \u201cfine\u201d hardly qualifies as an authentic meeting of minds and hearts. \u201cFine\u201d can be a one-word stand-in for a remarkable… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4224,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[281,526],"class_list":["post-4223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-blessing","tag-honesty"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4223"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4223\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4225,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4223\/revisions\/4225"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}