{"id":4432,"date":"2025-02-24T07:43:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-24T12:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/js1cd06kre.onrocket.site\/?p=4432"},"modified":"2025-02-24T07:43:00","modified_gmt":"2025-02-24T12:43:00","slug":"one-quick-and-two-slows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/2025\/02\/24\/one-quick-and-two-slows\/","title":{"rendered":"One Quick and Two Slows"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

To listen to today’s reflection as a podcast,\u00a0<\/em>click here<\/a>

There\u2019s a lot of talking going on out there.

Depending on who\u2019s counting, there appear to be at least 3.1 million active podcasts, and 165 million episodes floating in the cloud. There has never been a moment in history when so many words are so easily accessible to so many listeners.

One of the downsides is that there\u2019s also a great deal of anger out there.

Social media has provided a launching pad by means of which angry, cynical, and skeptical people, often hiding behind anonymity, feel free to hurl verbal bombs. \u201cMockers stir up a city,\u201d says Proverbs 29:8. The underlying Hebrew literally says, \u201cset a city on fire.\u201d Pastor Timothy Keller observes, \u201cSocial media has given mockers a platform to burn down civilization.\u201d

That\u2019s why we need, as never before, these words of wisdom from the apostle James: \u201cMy dear brothers and sisters,\u00a0take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak\u00a0and slow to become angry,\u00a0because human anger\u00a0does not produce the righteousness that God desires\u201d (James 1:19-20).

That\u2019s one quick and two slows<\/em>. Be quick to listen. Slow to speak. And slow to become angry.

The talk, talk, talk of our culture \u2013 much of it spewed out in a rush of urgent indignation \u2013 leads us to think we need to respond immediately. But we seldom know the full facts of a particular situation. Keller notes that careful listening, fact-checking, and grace-giving are put at a serious disadvantage when insinuations fly at us at the speed of a single click of someone else\u2019s mouse.

We can\u2019t afford to let society\u2019s mockers distort our sense of what\u2019s really happening in the world \u2013 a world where God is in fact still very much in charge.

Author Dan Lyons suggests that \u201covertalking\u201d is one of the habits that almost always gets us into trouble. He should know. Lyons is a self-confessed \u201ctalkaholic,\u201d someone who continues to talk even when he knows what he is about to communicate is probably going to create havoc.

\u201cMen are the worst,\u201d he believes. We mansplain, manterrupt, and deliver manalogues when it would be so much wiser just to be quiet. \u201cWhen possible,\u201d he writes, \u201csay nothing.\u201d \u00a0

We can master the power of the pause \u2013 waiting for someone else to speak. We can listen carefully, paying fierce attention to others instead of thinking ahead to our next amazing comment.

And we can take the most radical step of all: We can quit social media, or at least go on an extended fast. We really don\u2019t need to be continually connected to what everyone else is saying to have a life, and there is overwhelming evidence that our own inner worlds will be richer and happier if we pull the plug.

Lyons has attached seven words to a piece of paper above his computer: \u201cQUIET! LISTEN! SHORT ANSWERS! WRAP IT UP!\u201d

As he puts it, \u201cThe less I talk, the less I talk.\u201d It\u2019s a positive feedback loop that would surely have been endorsed by the apostle James.

What about the ease with which we surrender to anger?

Returning to Proverbs, \u201cA gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger\u201d<\/em> (Proverbs 15:1).\u00a0

As long as people have been compelled to share highways, family rooms, bedrooms, and boardrooms, the possibility of anger is always looming.\u00a0But the wisdom of the ancient Hebrews is being confirmed by extensive research.

It matters, for instance, what happens in the opening minutes of a confrontation.

John Gottman and his associates at the Marriage Lab in Seattle have confirmed that difficult encounters usually begin and end at the same emotional temperature.\u00a0If things start hot, they usually end up hot (if not incandescent). If things begin cool \u2013 what we might call a \u201csoft start,\u201d or a gentle answer \u2013 they usually finish that way, too.\u00a0It matters what we say and what we don\u2019t say when it\u2019s time to enter a crucial conversation.

One of the anger-management fads at the end of the 20th<\/sup> century was called \u201cventilationism.\u201d\u00a0Anger was pictured as magma trapped inside a human volcano.\u00a0Therapists advised people to release their raging emotions by screaming, cursing, or \u201cventing\u201d at the objects of their displeasure.\u00a0You might recall images of conflicted couples on marriage retreats whacking each other with foam bats.\u00a0

The reasoning was that people would ultimately dispel all their built-up anger, which would prevent a Mt. Vesuvius eruption.\u00a0

That theory, it turns out, was seriously flawed.\u00a0Dozens of follow-up studies have confirmed that ventilationism doesn\u2019t reduce anger.\u00a0It multiples it.\u00a0As you might guess, the spouse or co-worker or neighbor who gets \u201cvented upon\u201d doesn\u2019t particularly enjoy the experience, and often finds herself thinking, \u201cJust wait until it\u2019s my turn.\u201d

This was something the author of Proverbs foresaw a long time ago:\u00a0\u201cFools give<\/u><\/em>vent<\/u><\/em> to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end\u201d (29:11).

In a world where there is too much talk and way too much anger, we can choose to go a different way.

Stop and think. Listen carefully. Say less or say nothing at all. Don\u2019t let anger \u2013 yours or someone else\u2019s \u2013 win the day.

The Bible\u2019s arithmetic \u2013 one quick and two slows \u2013 adds up to a genuinely happier life.
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To listen to today’s reflection as a podcast,\u00a0click here There\u2019s a lot of talking going on out there. Depending on who\u2019s counting, there appear to be at least 3.1 million active podcasts, and 165 million episodes floating in the cloud. There has never been a moment in history when so many words are so easily accessible to so many listeners…. Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4433,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[277,209,106,868],"class_list":["post-4432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-anger","tag-listening","tag-social-media","tag-talking"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4432","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4432"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4432\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4434,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4432\/revisions\/4434"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4433"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}