{"id":447,"date":"2021-01-20T13:25:09","date_gmt":"2021-01-20T18:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/js1cd06kre.onrocket.site\/?p=447"},"modified":"2021-01-20T13:25:09","modified_gmt":"2021-01-20T18:25:09","slug":"yes-and","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/2021\/01\/20\/yes-and\/","title":{"rendered":"Yes…And"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Just say Yes\u2026and<\/strong><\/em>.  That\u2019s the secret of relationship jazz.

So often the first word out of our mouths is No<\/strong><\/em>.  That may happen at home, in the workplace, and in the public square. 

That\u2019s a dumb idea\u2026  We tried that before and it flopped\u2026 You know we can\u2019t afford it\u2026 You\u2019ll shoot your eye out\u2026 There you go again\u2026 I fundamentally disagree with your assumptions.<\/em>

For all too many of us, \u201cno\u201d is the default response whenever we hear something new.  And it has the effect of sabotaging our relationships.

Jazz musicians have learned how to say \u201cyes.\u201d  That, in fact, is the secret of jazz.  When the sax player takes the song in a whole new direction, the bass player doesn\u2019t say, \u201cNo, you\u2019re doing it wrong.\u201d  He responds Yes\u2026and.<\/strong><\/em>  \u201cYes, I see what you\u2019re doing there, and now let me add this.\u201d

It\u2019s called \u201caccepting every offer.\u201d  That\u2019s what makes great jazz sound like great jazz. 

Neurological research shows that when jazz musicians listen to others, wait their turn, and then offer something of their own to the mix, their brains open up to entirely new possibilities.  The part of the brain that hangs on to the \u201csame old same old\u201d is momentarily deactivated. 

What does it mean to accept every offer in a personal relationship? 

Saying Yes <\/strong><\/em>doesn\u2019t mean we think every idea is a great idea.  But instead of saying, \u201cThat\u2019s stupid!\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re flat wrong!\u201d we say Yes\u2026and<\/strong><\/em>.<\/strong>

Yes\/and<\/em> responses open up new possibilities.  They allow marriages and teams and friendships and political partnerships to take hold of a merely OK idea, then gradually keep building up and adding on in pursuit of a great idea.  When we accept someone else\u2019s starting point \u2013 \u201cI see that, and we could also do this\u201d \u2013 we not only treat our partners with respect.  We make them look good, too.

Mostly, yes\/and<\/em> responses generate hope. 

You may be disappointed with the newly elected officials who are in the spotlight on this Inauguration Day.  A poll last weekend indicated that one-third of Americans don\u2019t believe the new president is legitimate.  That is not the optimal starting point for the next four years of our shared public life. 

How can we bridge our Grand Canyons of anger, mistrust and grievance? 

We can start by saying Yes\u2026and<\/strong><\/em>. 

Accepting every offer may feel like betraying our deepest principles.  Handing victory to the Other Side.  Inviting the end of the world.

But the world will not end.  We don\u2019t need to catastrophize our disappointment.  The overwhelming counsel of the New Testament is to find common ground, and, in every situation, to reach out with love.  \u201cBless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they\u2019re happy; share tears when they\u2019re down. Get along with each other; don\u2019t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don\u2019t be the great somebody.\u201d (Romans 12:14-16, The Message<\/em>)

With time, we\u2019ll come to understand that No <\/strong><\/em>isn\u2019t the only reasonable approach to life.

And we might end up making some great music together.
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Just say Yes\u2026and.  That\u2019s the secret of relationship jazz. So often the first word out of our mouths is No.  That may happen at home, in the workplace, and in the public square.  That\u2019s a dumb idea\u2026  We tried that before and it flopped\u2026 You know we can\u2019t afford it\u2026 You\u2019ll shoot your eye out\u2026 There you go again\u2026 I… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":448,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[149,148],"class_list":["post-447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-affirmation","tag-finding-common-ground"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=447"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/447\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":449,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/447\/revisions\/449"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/448"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}