{"id":792,"date":"2021-06-15T21:59:41","date_gmt":"2021-06-16T01:59:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/js1cd06kre.onrocket.site\/?p=792"},"modified":"2021-06-15T21:59:41","modified_gmt":"2021-06-16T01:59:41","slug":"broken-dishes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/2021\/06\/15\/broken-dishes\/","title":{"rendered":"Broken Dishes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

When Tim Keller and his wife Kathy launched a new church in Manhattan a few decades ago, they knew it would be a draining endeavor.

Keller, who struggles with work addiction, had discerned that his life would be seriously out of balance for at least the first three years.  That meant he would be working at a pace that he could not permanently sustain without damaging his health and compromising his family relationships.

He approached Kathy and asked if she would grant him extra-long hours for three years.  After that he would downshift into a more normal existence.

OK? he asked.  OK, she answered. 

Here\u2019s Keller\u2019s account of what happened next, as it appears in his book The Meaning of Marriage:<\/em>

\u201cBut the three-year mark came and went, and Kathy asked me, as we agreed, to cut back on my work hours.  \u2018Just a couple more months,\u2019 I said.  \u2018I have this and that commitment that I have to see through.  Just a couple more months.\u2019  I kept saying that.  The months flew by with no change.

\u201cOne day I came home from work.  It was a nice day outside and I noticed that the door to our apartment\u2019s balcony was open.  Just as I was taking off my jacket I heard a smashing noise coming from the balcony.

\u201cIn another couple of seconds I heard another one.  I walked out on to the balcony and to my surprise saw Kathy sitting on the floor.  She had a hammer, and next to her was a stack of our wedding china.  On the ground were the shards of two smashed saucers.

\u201c\u2019What are you doing?\u2019 I asked.

\u201cShe looked up and said, \u2018You aren\u2019t listening to me.  You don\u2019t realize that if you keep working these hours you are going to destroy this family.  I don\u2019t know how to get through to you.  You aren\u2019t seeing how serious this is.  This is what you are doing.\u2019  And she brought the hammer down on the third saucer.  It splintered into pieces.\u201d

As that old Verizon Wireless commercial put it:  Can you hear me now?<\/em>

Keller goes on:  \u201cI sat down trembling.  I thought she had snapped.  \u2018I\u2019m listening.  I\u2019m listening,\u2019 I said.  As we talked it became clear that she was intense and laser focused, but she was not in a rage or out of control emotionally. 

“She spoke calmly but forcefully.  Her arguments were the same as they had been for months, but I realized how deluded I had been.  There would never be a convenient time to cut back.  I was addicted to the level of productivity I had achieved.  I had to do something.\u201d

As their conversation continued, Kathy noticed something:  For the first time in a long time, Tim was really listening.  They hugged.

A godly tantrum:  <\/em>That\u2019s how Kathy Keller describes a relentless desire to be heard.  It doesn\u2019t involve a loss of emotional control.  But real love often means getting out of our comfort zones \u2013 speaking plainly, openly, and directly about something that matters.

\u201cBut exhort one another every day, so you don\u2019t become hardened by the deceitfulness of sin\u201d (Hebrews 3:13).

Real love is that which suffers the loss of a dish instead of the loss of a lifelong promise.
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Tim Keller and his wife Kathy launched a new church in Manhattan a few decades ago, they knew it would be a draining endeavor. Keller, who struggles with work addiction, had discerned that his life would be seriously out of balance for at least the first three years.  That meant he would be working at a pace that he… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":793,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[226,244],"class_list":["post-792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-marriage","tag-pace-of-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=792"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":794,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/792\/revisions\/794"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/793"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glennsreflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}