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Each day this month of August we’ll be looking at one of the extraordinary metaphors that the Bible uses to illustrate the nature of our relationship with God.
Not long ago, I realized I had lost track of how many weddings I have officiated.
I know it’s been a bunch.
On the whole, the brides and grooms I have known have had very little in common.
Some have been tall and some have been short. Some have been quiet, while others have been exuberant. Some would have jumped at the chance to star in a “love at first sight” reality TV show, while others preferred staying under the radar.
One couple I married hadn’t yet graduated from high school. Another couple actually met at their 50th high school reunion.
Most of the weddings have taken place in chapels or church sanctuaries. Others have happened in family rooms, porches, or patios. I once performed a ceremony inside the Hoosier state capitol building. Stil others have been outdoors – occasionally accompanied by raindrops, gusts of wind, scorching heat, or squadrons of mosquitoes flying in formation.
I’ve performed weddings on beaches, atop mountains, in woods, and alongside a lighthouse.
Once I was officiating when a groomsman fainted into an open piano, which certainly struck a memorable chord. At a June wedding inside a small church that had no air conditioning, the thermostat read 114 degrees. The bride fainted. One of the groomsmen, a physician, rushed over to help. He whispered to me, “It’s too bad this happened, but I’m so glad to have something to do. I was on the verge of fainting, too.”
Another time, the maid of honor somehow lost the ring she was to give to the bride. An hour later we found it had rolled all the way to one of the church’s baseboards. When it came time for the bride to receive that ring and put it on her new husband’s finger, I quickly substituted my own wedding ring. I’ll never forget the look of surprise on her face.
I remember one groom pacing nervously right before we walked into the sanctuary. Everything will be fine, I assured him. “I’m not worried about the ceremony,” he replied. Then he pointed to a pickup truck in the church parking lot. “You see those two kegs of beer? They’re for the reception. I sure hope no one steals them!”
While most grooms have been the picture of health, looking forward to the rest of their lives, one of them spoke his vows while lying in a hospital bed, knowing he had less than two months to live. “I just want to leave this world knowing we got married.”
On another occasion in which the groom was hospitalized, the vows were exchanged in a family waiting area. Since he cherished his Scottish roots, the groom had hired a bagpiper. Hospital authorities, fearing that bagpipe music at full volume might precipitate a few medical setbacks, insisted that he play outdoors. And he did – on a hospital roofline some seven stories above the ground. I’ve always wondered how passersby responded to that concert.
Some couples have been wealthy and immediately took off to honeymoons on other continents. Others were barely able to scrape together enough to pay for their wedding license, then to grab some burgers at the drive-through after the ceremony.
I’ve seen a lot of different brides and grooms.
But I’ve never once seen a bride or a groom come to their own wedding and casually say “I do” without having given some serious thought as to how proclaiming those two little words was going to change their life forever.
In every generation, in every culture and every locale, weddings are a very big deal.
That’s why the metaphor of marriage comes at the very end of our month-long consideration of what it means to be in relationship with God. It is impossible to imagine a closer connection to the Lord than having him say to us, before the watching world, “I will be with you always – for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” That’s a very big deal, indeed.
The notion of God as spouse had been deeply planted in the prophetic tradition of Israel. Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name.”
In the New Testament, the one standing at the altar is Jesus. The apostle Paul tells the Corinthians that he “betrothed you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him” (2 Corinthians 11:2).
Here we should pause and note that the Bible never says that individuals are betrothed to God’s Son. The Bride of Christ is the whole church – every follower of Jesus from every generation – past, present, and future.
Likewise, the wedding is still ahead of us. According to Revelation 19:7-9, the “marriage of the Lamb” (that would be Jesus, the Lamb of God) will happen at the end of history and will represent the culmination of God’s efforts to redeem this broken world.
Even as we appreciate the vivid nature of metaphors, we must also accept their limitations. “Being married to Jesus” should not be understood as the sharing of romantic feelings, moving into an FCA (first crummy apartment), or working through disagreements on how to load the dishwasher.
Instead, the biblical metaphor of marriage is the highest possible expression of unity, fidelity, and love.
Brides and grooms in this world typically share extraordinary, unconditional promises. But we just as typically falter in trying to live them out. None of us has a clean slate when we enter marriage, and those slates become even more compromised along our marital journeys. We discover, to our shame, that we do not have infinite reservoirs of forgiveness and love.
But Jesus does.
From that standpoint, the church’s marriage to the Savior is a one-sided affair. He provides all the grace and all the staying power.
So, what do we bring to this relationship? We simply present ourselves. We stand before him as the ones whom he loves. Between now and the marriage of the Lamb, our call is to live in such a way that honors Christ. Paul writes that Jesus “loved the church and gave himself up for her,” that he might present her “a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:25-27).
That was the ideal in Bible times – that every bride should be without blemish, both inside and out.
No human bride has ever met such a standard, and the church falls grievously short of perfection.
But we are betrothed to a Husband whose covenantal love and divine power will transform us, at the end of history, into something unimaginably beautiful.
So, let’s prepare ourselves, with all our hearts, for our Wedding Day. It’s going to be a very big deal.
And who knows? There may even be bagpipes.