Paraprosdokians

      Comments Off on Paraprosdokians

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the second part of a sentence or phrase turns out to be surprising or unexpected.  Often they make us smile.

Where there’s a will, I want to be part of it. 

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.  Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it’s still on my list.

You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I used to be indecisive.  Now I’m not so sure.

I asked God for a bike, but I know doesn’t God work that way.  So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

A fool and his money are soon elected (Will Rogers).

If I am reading this graph correctly, I would be very surprised (Stephen Colbert).

There are a bunch of different crunches that affect the abs.  My favorite is Nestle (Shmuel Breban)

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn’t it. (Groucho Marx)

Imagine the paraprosdokian that Jesus’ disciples might have written in their journals after Jesus’ final weekend: “The person we were counting on to make the world right was caught and killed by his enemies, and it’s the best thing that ever happened to us.”

Does that second part really go with the first part? 

Easter is God’s great, joyful surprise.  The first part of the weekend – Jesus’ tragic death on Good Friday– doesn’t prepare us for the stunning new direction of his story.   Just when it appears that all is lost, all is found.

Which means that even if the first part of your story seems to have crushed your hopes, don’t give up.  

We were so happy to say goodbye to 2020, but now we’re stuck with 2021.

As Tony Campolo puts it:  It’s Friday, but Sunday’s comin.’